Monday, April 14, 2014

No Blessings, No Kidding

Last week I was noting the fact that I said the blessing 3 times one day while having lunch alone. I was so stressed I didn’t remember having said it.

That word, blessings, gets tossed around a lot in discussions about caregiving and that tossing is one of the things that makes us crazy.

People will say, “It’s such a blessing to be able to care for my dad.” Or, “I get many blessings when caring for mom.” Or, “In the future I’ll look back and understand that caring for my wife was a blessing.”

All that is probably true, but you know, the future ain’t right now.

Let’s be honest, some days caregiving is not a blessing and it’s virtually impossible to look into the future and imagine looking back on your experiences and seeing anything as a blessing.

The best way, in fact, the only way to deal with times like that are to take the caregiving journey one step at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.

Set a goal to make it to suppertime or bedtime. If you can make it to then you get a small respite. And then, after a short rest, it starts again.

Setting short-term goals and giving yourself small rewards are really the best ways to move through the most difficult times.

Yes, there will be a day when all this is over, but today isn’t the day.

If you can find blessings today, God Bless You. If you can’t look for those moments of rest and escape that…truly…are a blessing.

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